Остин|Доран

I grew up much too prideful to ask those questions of doubt, those legitimate and sweet to the lips questions of existential importance…"God...why?” I had been trained from such a young age that these questions only lead to further confusion and misunderstanding, that we ask these out of ignorance and foolishness. That if we were wise enough, patient enough and sinless enough we wouldn’t doubt God. We would not feel compelled to ask these questions, instead we would have the all surpassing peace of the Holy Spirit to abide. For to ask such a question of why God does something or if God even exists, is to admit that your faith is weak. Which we all know from Bible lessons of young, a weak faith means a weak mind and an even weaker knowledge of God. Even scripture affirms the pursuit of God is the beginning of knowledge and blessed is he who finds it. So how can I ask these foolish questions twenty-one years into my faith? The answer is simple…you don’t. Instead you conjecture, deba...

"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment." Sin motivates us away from relationships; when Adam and Eve sinned, they hid. If aggressive personalities were to confront one about depression the potential for increased conflict is inherent the individual addressing the depressive person, must come with confidence of character and strong personality, being able to handle any rebuttal which might arise, offering a forgiving and compassionate answer to the emotional well which might erupt from this persons heart. If your desire to confront the person is of a pure heart, acknowledging the depravity of this persons flesh is necessary and forgiving the origin and acknowledging the division between their true character as a Christian and the foothold sin has taken. When you choose to confront the sensitive area, which has been denied and protected for so long, it is like doing surgery. You must expect some very violent responses when y...

"Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?"  Faith and works are dove-tailed together, inextricably connected, each element reliant on the other for purpose. Thus, this is a clause declaring how essential one element is, but only to increase the reality that without either you do not have the “product” of justification. It is not to be linearly interpreted as faith precedent to works, thus leaving potential to surmise the possibility of faith absent works. Rather these texts serve as a “gauge” for our j...

-In desiring to communicate with God we can idolize our “encounters” with the spirit, rather than holding our action in the service to Him as the utmost importance. -Since we have mediated communication with God, ie. we do not communicate directly with God, rather through the means of prayer and then mediated back to us through the scripture. -It is the imposition in our lives of a transcendent being interfacing would in fact “interfere.” Our desire to commune would distract or detract from our desire and our enacting his will. -His absence in face-to-face communication offers a desperate desire to get to know Him, where we might be too satisfied with our relationship if he did. Accordingly, by NOT vocally speaking to us it kindles our passion to commune with God in “the future.” -The medium upon which the communication occurs is transcendent of the person being communicated to thus offering objective legitimization of the message, context, purpose and meaning. Additionally, offering a...

I have been cataloging the minutes in my day thinking through how I spend my time, as I did this I realized that many of the ways I spend my time involve the many “things” in my life. Accordingly, many of the things in my life to which I am inordinately attached involve recreation and leisurely engagements. These idols include my friends, music, movies, internet surfing and even sleep. I have become so attached to wasting time here and there, just a few minutes each day on these things, which add up to hours and become a crutch in my life. The way I know that something has become a shrine, replacing God, is when I find myself “needing” it searching for it and desiring it. Whenever any of these things becomes something I require, I become aware that it has taken on a new role in my life, no longer serving me, but rather I have entered into service to it. 

Through pray and scripture recitation it is possible to reflect on the missing diminished or unexplored natures of worship. I find my self continually amazed by the nuances of God’s nature that elicit in me a new desire to worship Him in a revolutionary way. I believe that the better we know our heavenly father, the more we will know how to worship Him. Many times in moments of prayer or scripture reading I have been convicted to worship Him in a new way, either through recitation of scripture, repeating prayers, bowing down to His glory or simply sitting reflecting on my humility in light of His magnificence. If I continue to search the depths of God’s attributes, nature, actions and plan, I am assured a continual refocusing of my worship to His desire.  A tangible way in which I have realized the need to diversify my worship has been through a multitude of individuals and churches. I find that any opportunity that arises to share in fellowshipping with others, no matter how unco...

Often I do not live the life that is in accordance to the sanctification that Christ has started within me. If I allow my emotions, flesh and sin nature to dictate my lifestyle I become a self focused man, dictated by vain ambitions; as such I have no fruits of my spiritual labors which well up springs of overwhelming joy for God’s work and provision in my life. It is my belief that our worship as mature Christians must flow from the excess of God’s grace in our lives. However, this cannot be done if we continue to inoculate ourselves to His redeeming work, by using grace as our excuse to expose ourselves to the deadly virus of a sinful lifestyle. While these sins may not affect our eternal standing at the judgment seat, it certainly affects our current status with the Lord. Thus, if we are off breaking our marriage vows with the Lord and expect to enter into an intimate time of communion sharing our adulterated flesh with His Holy and majestic vessel, it is not hard to imagine why the...

Maintaining a personal faith and belief in the deity of God, His son and scriptures, I intend to address the biblical pursuits of a life congruent with the culmination of both spiritual and theological implications of the word. In deriving the scripturally harmonious synthesis of these two essential aspects of a Christian walk, I strive to implement both facets in a complimentary manor.             Theologies pursuit is to clarify the culmination of intricate details regarding scriptures stance on doctrine and action. While spirituality is concerned with the action and reaction to the unseen realm as it manifests itself in the many mediums of our daily life. The first culmination of theology and spirituality finds itself manifested in my solid relationship with the Lord, through the acknowledgment of my depravity, facilitated by the spiritual revelation of my condition and my repentant response and faith in the deity and life and death of Christ. Acco...

I have recently fallen in love with prayer; it is an amazing gift to talk with the Lord through all of my daily concerns. I view prayer as precious opportunity to ask and engage with God on every issue I face. It is a provision to my soul; it fills me and guides me. I walk though most of my day in continual prayer lifting every experience and thought I have to Him, it is an amazingly convicting and rewarding experience. However, while I certainly see the fruits and reward of prayer, I will often fall back into an attitude that only sees the burden of prayer, this comes most often from my sinful life and the guilt that follows from my sins. It is when I walk away from His word and allow sin to take hold of my life that I “hide” from Him and do not desire to meet with Him. It takes a serious time of confession and repentance to right my walk with the Lord and view prayer as the gracious gift He intended. Through intentional meditation on the word I have allowed myself to experience the ...

Maintaining a personal faith and belief in the deity of God, His son and scriptures, I intend to address the biblical pursuits of a life congruent with the culmination of both spiritual and theological implications of the word. In deriving the scripturally harmonious synthesis of these two essential aspects of a Christian walk, I strive to implement both facets in a complimentary manor.             Theologies pursuit is to clarify the culmination of intricate details regarding scriptures stance on doctrine and action. While spirituality is concerned with the action and reaction to the unseen realm as it manifests itself in the many mediums of our daily life. The first culmination of theology and spirituality finds itself manifested in my solid relationship with the Lord, through the acknowledgment of my depravity, facilitated by the spiritual revelation of my condition and my repentant response and faith in the deity and life and death of Christ. Acco...

During my matriculation at Moody I have found a litany of ways to engage my theological interests and growth. It is through the continual integration of Biblical truth and preservation of doctrinal integrity that has facilitated my learning of theological concepts and truths essential to my spiritual security and development. Teachers, faculty and students alike engage on levels of scriptural understanding and conviction that truly enhances and topic of theology, allowing ones knowledge and drive to pursue clarity on the issue, to develop significantly. It is upon this essential doctrinal understanding which one builds a solid theological and spiritual life. It is reflection up such integral precepts and doctrines of faith that one can grow spiritually. I cherish the community that Moody brings, pertaining to spiritual growth, whether in classes or small groups I felt encouraged and challenged by stories of personal growth and implementation of theological knowledge in daily decisi...

My personal times with the Lord are just that, "personal" I cherish the times alone which I have to reflect and mediate on scripture and the Lord's voice on my life. When I am alone the thoughts and convictions of the word on my heart penetrate deep, forcing me to reckon with them and consider my walk with the Lord. It is truly heart wrenching for me to sit in silence and hear the voice of scripture in my mind, whether from memory or reading. I especially grow with the Lord when I have come home from tumultuous times with many people, just to step away from culture and society, come to the alter alone and broken. The depth of my depravity becomes so apparent, I can hardly perceive how I survived an hour without this solace, yet it empowers me to go for days.             I believe the work the spirit renews in me comes strongly from times of solitude, reflection on my life and my heart. Many practices of scripture memorization equip me with endless reci...

I feel that when I am righteous I am wholly so, and when sinful likewise. Thus, I feel I can not be flexible and stretch my existence around both a carnal and sanctified being, rather there a appears a rift, tearing apart my two natures. Thus, I forget all association with my alternate self and live as though I exist as merely one man. The reconciliation of my duplicitous nature is hardly complete.

God is the comprehensive antithesis of my insufficiency, my depression, weakness and incompitence. You are joy, love, clarity, peace, and solidarity. The more I lack, the greater glory I find in your completeness. The greater my depravity the more I see your righteousness. My brokeness tells of your solidarity.