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Prayer Trial

I have recently fallen in love with prayer; it is an amazing gift to talk with the Lord through all of my daily concerns. I view prayer as precious opportunity to ask and engage with God on every issue I face. It is a provision to my soul; it fills me and guides me. I walk though most of my day in continual prayer lifting every experience and thought I have to Him, it is an amazingly convicting and rewarding experience. However, while I certainly see the fruits and reward of prayer, I will often fall back into an attitude that only sees the burden of prayer, this comes most often from my sinful life and the guilt that follows from my sins. It is when I walk away from His word and allow sin to take hold of my life that I “hide” from Him and do not desire to meet with Him. It takes a serious time of confession and repentance to right my walk with the Lord and view prayer as the gracious gift He intended.

Through intentional meditation on the word I have allowed myself to experience the overwhelming passions of God’s essence in my soul. When I embark on a prayer journey with the Lord, each of his attributes are illuminated to my heart and I begin to experience Him in His truest nature. I have relished the opportunities God has provided me in times of prayer and reflection on His nature as presented by the word that have manifested the genuine communion I share with His essence in mine.

I often think that it is my problem to sort out the struggles in my life and God’s concern is only with my spiritual well being. Thus, I often pray for mental and spiritual fortitude that will equip me to provide for my tangible needs. I often forget that God is the creator of every facet of existence, accordingly His concern for my physical needs are no less powerful, than his realization of my spiritual needs. My desire is change my heart and have faith that God will recognize and appreciate the depth of my physical depravity as well as my spiritual depravity.

I have a specific need, which I am now praying for and henceforth hope to see come to substance within the next month. I believe that this experiment in prayer will conclusively encourage my heart to pray with piety and a genuine spirit. Whether or not the conclusion is the fruition of my desire, it will certainly be illuminating of both the Lord and my soul.
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